In a past life I used to work for a Children's Centre and we ran a number of play groups for parents and their children. I say parents. I mean mums. The vast majority of adults that attended these groups were of the female persuasion.
I always stood out. It took me a long time to feel comfortable walking in, and I was a worker. I cannot imagine how difficult it was for those dads who also had to contend with feeling like they were being watched and judged. I don't think they were, but I can imagine that is how they felt.
Now as a parent I have been into those groups but that is as a parent who is used to being in those environments. What I have enjoyed the most, though, is the monthly group just for dads and their children that I attend.
Once a month a group of us gather in a church hall to have tea, a bacon bap and a catch up.It is the best Saturday of my month and everyone is a winner! My wife gets a break (brownie points in the bank), our kids get to have a play and we get to be dads en masse.
Groups like this, in my opinion, are vital. As a society traditional roles and support networks have eroded which has left some isolated and unsure of what to do. Groups such as this offer a place to belong, to talk and to share the common experience of fatherhood. The problem is that they are few and far between.
There are only a handful of organisations (Dangerous Dads, Who Let The Dads Out?) that deal with dads specifically. Most children's centres have stopped their dads groups and only run universal services but despite the workers' intentions these are rarely easy for dads to get to, particularly if they are working dads.
If you are able to get to one - go along. If not - get in touch with a local venue and set one up. Grab some mates with kids, and just start something. It will probably grow and it may become a major source of support for someone else who might be struggling. Membership of a group is so important, for both physical and mental health. When you become a parent it is sometimes hard to maintain the membership of pre-child groups so look for ways to engage in new groups.
Those monthly Saturdays are one way that I do it and I cannot recommend it highly enough.
